“I’ve been perm free for five and a half years. I have to say that I love how my hair has helped me love myself so much more deeply and accept the fullness of Z in a more beautiful way. I don’t know what I was thinking when I stopped perming my hair, but for some reason I thought that natural hair would be quicker. It’s not, but I’ve found the patience and time that I need to put into caring for my hair makes me be more present with myself. I love the versatility and the fact that my hair can’t be tamed. One fun thing about being a black girl is all of the different styles that we can do with our hair, but at the end of the day you can try to replicate a hairstyle and your hair will do something very different. You can do a twist out the exact same way with the same products and have a different result, so for me this has been a beautiful way to not be controlling. As black women, a lot of times we do try to control stuff because we have so much pressure on us and we don’t have much margin for error. At times, people can be very critical of us, so it means everything to have this area in my life where I know it’s going to be different but I enjoy the variations anyway. I jokingly talk to my hair sometimes and say ‘I kind of wanted you to do this, but you want to do that so we’re going to rock with this girlfriend.”

Since moving back to DC, the sisterhood that I’ve experienced with natural hair has been so loving and beautiful. The way women on the street talk to each other and complement each others’ hair is beautiful. Even brothers. Just before I got to the tea shop today this brother said, ‘sister I love the color of your hair’ and he wasn’t trying to get my number. Well, he probably was trying to get my number but he wasn’t disrespectful at all.”